How Do I Get Rid of Emotional Baggage?
Most of us have heard the phrase “emotional baggage.” We may even joke about carrying baggage from one relationship, experience, or stage of life into the next.
But when you realize you're still reacting to something that happened years ago, repeating the same patterns, or feeling weighed down by emotions you thought you'd already dealt with, the question becomes a little more serious:
How do I actually get rid of emotional baggage?
The frustrating answer is that there isn't one single way.
That's partly because emotional baggage isn't one specific thing. It's an everyday term we use to describe unresolved emotions, past experiences, beliefs, memories, relationship patterns, fears, expectations, and other things that seem to follow us long after the original situation is over.
What one person is carrying may be very different from what someone else is carrying.
What Is Emotional Baggage?
Emotional baggage can show up in obvious ways. Maybe you're still angry about something that happened years ago. Maybe an old relationship continues to influence how you approach new ones.
Sometimes it's much less obvious.
You might notice that you keep choosing similar relationships. You sabotage opportunities you genuinely want. You struggle to set boundaries. You feel responsible for fixing everyone else's problems. You know intellectually that you're capable or worthy, yet something inside you seems to disagree.
Sometimes we don't recognize these things as baggage because they've been with us for so long that they simply feel like part of who we are.
And what we call emotional baggage doesn't necessarily have one underlying cause. There may be unresolved emotions involved, but beliefs, learned patterns, associations, stress responses, and other factors may be part of the picture too.
That's one reason there isn't a single technique that makes sense for everyone.
There Are Many Ways to Work With Emotional Baggage
People approach emotional baggage in many different ways.
Some people work with a licensed mental-health professional. Others use journaling, mindfulness, meditation, somatic practices, breathwork, or other forms of personal development.
There is also a broad range of subconscious, energetic, and sound-based approaches. These include EFT or tapping, the Emotion Code, Body Code, Belief Code, SRT, PSYCH-K, Splankna, pendulum-based methods, tuning forks, biofield practices, frequency-based approaches, sound baths, and many others.
These methods aren't necessarily doing the same thing, nor am I suggesting that everyone needs to try all of them.
Quite the opposite.
There may be many ways to release emotional baggage because what we call emotional baggage can represent many different things.
Rather than trying to cover every method available, I'm going to focus primarily on approaches I actually use in my own practice.
The Approaches I Use in My Practice
I'm certified in the Emotion Code, Body Code, and Belief Code, and I'm also a Certified EFT/TFT Tapping Master Practitioner.
My work may also incorporate tuning forks and biofield balancing, pendulum work, and frequency-based approaches. I'm a QLA (Quantum Living Advocate) for Solex, the company behind the AO Scan technology I use in my practice.
That's a fairly large toolbox, but having multiple tools doesn't mean using all of them on everyone.
More importantly, I don't automatically assume that because someone describes something as emotional baggage, I already know what may be underneath it.
Emotion Code
The Emotion Code is a system developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson that focuses on identifying and releasing what the system describes as “trapped emotions.”
This is one of the approaches I use when working with clients, but it's also something people can learn about independently.
Nelson's book The Emotion Code explains the system and introduces the process for personal use.
Body Code and Belief Code
Sometimes what appears to be an emotional issue may be part of a larger pattern.
The Body Code, developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson as the second-level system following the Emotion Code, provides a broader framework for exploring different categories of potential energetic imbalance. Nelson has also written a book, The Body Code, that introduces the system and its concepts.
The Belief Code is the third-level system and focuses more specifically on identifying and releasing subconscious beliefs and belief systems.
That distinction matters because an emotion isn't necessarily the entire story.
Imagine someone who repeatedly finds herself in relationships where she becomes responsible for everyone else's needs.
There may certainly be emotions connected with those experiences.
But there might also be an underlying belief such as:
My value comes from being needed.
Or:
It's my responsibility to take care of everyone.
Addressing an emotion and exploring an underlying belief are not necessarily the same thing.
That's why I'm generally more interested in what may be underneath a recurring pattern than in choosing a technique based solely on the label someone gives the problem.
EFT and TFT Tapping
I'm also a Certified EFT/TFT Tapping Master Practitioner.
EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, and TFT, or Thought Field Therapy, are tapping-based approaches. Although the methods differ, both involve tapping on specific points associated with the body's meridian system while focusing on an issue.
One interesting aspect of tapping is that there are techniques people can learn and use themselves, which can make it an accessible entry point for someone interested in exploring emotional patterns on their own.
For those who want to learn more, there are books, programs, and other educational resources devoted specifically to tapping listed in the resources at the bottom of the page.
Tuning Forks, Sound and Biofield Balancing
Sound and vibration offer another way of approaching energetic work.
In my own practice, I use tuning forks and what I refer to as biofield balancing. I work with different frequencies with the intention of supporting the body's own capacity for balance and healing while helping to shift or break up energetic patterns that may be creating interference or imbalance.
Sound-based practices take many forms. Similar concepts involving sound, vibration, and frequency can also be found in sound baths and other sound-based wellness practices.
One well-known approach involving tuning forks and the human biofield is Biofield Tuning, developed by Eileen McKusick.
My tuning-fork work draws on some similar concepts, but I am not a certified Biofield Tuning practitioner, and I do not represent my sessions as Biofield Tuning.
Frequency-Based Approaches and AO Scan
Frequency work is another part of my toolbox.
I'm a QLA (Quantum Living Advocate) for Solex and use AO Scan technology as part of my practice.
Frequency-based approaches cover a broad range of concepts and technologies, so I don't lump everything involving “frequency” into a single category or assume that everyone needs the same thing.
Depending on what I'm working with, frequency may be one of the tools I incorporate.
As with the other approaches I use, I don't assume beforehand that frequency is necessarily the appropriate tool for every person or every issue.
Pendulum Work
Pendulum-based approaches are another part of the much larger energetic-work landscape, and pendulum work is also something I know how to use.
Again, the important point isn't that everyone with emotional baggage needs a pendulum, a tuning fork, tapping, frequency work, or any particular technique.
The tool isn't necessarily where I start. The person and the pattern are.
Sometimes the Emotion Isn't the Whole Story
This is an important distinction.
Suppose you've spent years saying:
“I need to let go of what happened to me.”
Maybe there genuinely are emotions connected with what happened.
But what if that experience also contributed to a belief about relationships?
Or money?
Or your own worth?
Or whether it's safe to trust someone?
Or whether you have to take care of everybody else?
Two people can experience remarkably similar events and carry very different things forward from them.
Likewise, two people can exhibit similar patterns for completely different reasons.
That's why I don't believe that identifying a behavior automatically tells us what's underneath it.
Can You Release Emotional Baggage Yourself?
Sometimes, yes.
There are many things you can explore on your own. Journaling may help you recognize repeating thoughts and patterns. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of reactions as they're happening. Some people learn tapping or other techniques they can practice independently.
Sometimes simply asking yourself better questions can reveal quite a bit, too.
Instead of only asking:
“How do I get rid of this feeling?”
you might also become curious about:
“When does this keep happening?”
“What pattern keeps repeating?”
“What do I believe about myself when this happens?”
“What am I afraid would happen if I responded differently?”
You don't need to know the answers immediately.
Sometimes recognizing that there is a pattern is the beginning.
When Might Working With Someone Else Help?
Some people love doing their own work.
Others discover that it's difficult to be objective when they're standing in the middle of their own stuff.
You may also have tried several approaches already and still feel like something hasn't shifted, or you may simply have no idea where to begin.
You don't need to arrive at a session already knowing:
I have a trapped emotion.
I have a subconscious belief.
I need tapping.
I need frequency work.
Sometimes the starting point is simply:
“This keeps happening, and I don't understand why.”
Or:
“I've worked on this before, but something still feels unresolved.”
Or even:
“I don't know what's going on. I just know I don't want to keep carrying it.”
That's enough information to begin exploring.
Emotional Baggage Doesn't Mean Something Is Wrong With You
Human beings learn from experience.
We form associations. We develop ways of protecting ourselves. We form beliefs about ourselves, other people, relationships, money, safety, success, failure, and what we're allowed to expect from life.
Some of those patterns continue serving us.
Others may not.
The goal doesn't have to be becoming a perfectly healed human who never experiences another difficult emotion.
I'm not convinced such a creature exists.
The goal can simply be becoming curious about what you're carrying, where it may be coming from, and whether you still want to carry it.
Not Sure Where to Begin?
If you've noticed an emotional or behavioral pattern that keeps repeating and you're curious about what might be underneath it, I offer a complimentary 20-minute consultation where we can talk about what you've been experiencing and whether the type of work I do might be a good fit.
You don't need to figure out which technique you need before we talk.
That's part of what we're figuring out.
Related reading:
When Helping Becomes a Pattern: The Hidden Side of Over-Helping
Why Don't Affirmations Work for Me? The Role of Subconscious Beliefs
Beyond the Body Code: Advanced Energy Healing in Kansas City
Resources Mentioned in This Article:
The Emotion Code — Bradley Nelson
The Body Code — Bradley Nelson
Tuning the Human Biofield — Eileen McKusick
Electric Body, Electric Health — Eileen McKusick
Tapping the Healer Within by Roger Callahan & Richard Trubo
The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner and M. D. Mark Hyman
Step-by-Step Tapping by Sue Beer & Emma Roberts
Energy Tapping by Dr. Fred Gallo & Dr. Harry Vincenzi
The Tapping Solution Documentary Film (free on YouTube)
AO Scan Technology Subscription
Affiliate Disclosure:
Some links in this article are affiliate links. I am an affiliate of Bookshop.org and Solex. If you click an affiliate link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. I only recommend resources that I believe are relevant to the topic.