Why Don’t Affirmations Work for Me? The Role of Subconscious Beliefs

You’ve chosen your affirmation. You’ve written it down. You’ve repeated it every morning. Maybe you’ve put it on a sticky note, made it your phone wallpaper, or stood in front of the mirror saying it to yourself.

I am worthy.
I am confident.
I deserve success.
Money flows easily to me.

And yet, somewhere inside, part of you may be saying, Yeah...I don't believe that.

So what’s going on?

I don’t think that necessarily means affirmations don’t work. I use affirmations myself and believe they can be a useful tool. But I also think there can be more going on beneath the surface.

Sometimes the new belief you’re trying to create may be competing with an old, well-established belief that has been there for years.

When a New Affirmation Conflicts With an Old Belief

We all develop beliefs throughout our lives. Some come from things we were directly taught. Others develop through experiences, relationships, family dynamics, repeated messages or conclusions we reached about ourselves and the world around us.

Those beliefs aren't always things we're consciously walking around thinking about.

You may consciously want to believe I am worthy of success while carrying an old belief that says I'm not good enough.

You may repeat I am safe while some part of you has learned through experience that the world—or relationships, money, change or uncertainty—isn't safe.

You may say I deserve to be loved while carrying a much older belief that says I'm unlovable or people always leave me.

When the new statement and the existing belief don't match, simply repeating the new statement doesn't necessarily make the old belief disappear.

There is actually some interesting research around this.

In a 2009 study published in Psychological Science, researchers examined what happened when people repeated a positive self-statement. Participants with high self-esteem experienced a small benefit, but participants with low self-esteem actually felt worse after repeating the positive statement. The researchers concluded that positive self-statements may help some people but can backfire for others.

That doesn't mean positive affirmations are bad. But it does suggest something I find particularly interesting:

What we already believe may matter.

One quick terminology note: In psychological research, “self-affirmation” often refers to reflecting on personally important values or aspects of identity. That's different from repeating the positive statements we commonly call affirmations.

Before Bringing In the New, Clear Out the Old

I often explain this using a very ordinary example: redecorating a room.

If you're going to completely redo a room, you probably don't just start carrying beautiful new furniture and decorations into a room that's already full of things you don't want.

First, you clear some things out.

You decide what you're keeping and what needs to go. You get rid of the things that no longer belong there. You take out the trash. Then you have room for the beautiful new things you actually want.

Otherwise, you've just piled new stuff on top of old stuff and created more clutter.

I tend to think about incongruent beliefs in much the same way.

If I'm trying to establish a new belief while I'm still carrying an old belief that directly contradicts it, I may be trying to pile something new on top of something that is already firmly established.

In my thinking, it makes sense to look at what's already there.

Clear out what no longer serves you and make some room for what you actually want to bring in.

The New Belief Is Only a Seed

There's another way I like to picture this.

Think of a long-held belief as a seed that was planted years ago.

Maybe that belief was I'm not good enough. Maybe it was I don't deserve success, I'm not safe, I can't trust people, or nothing ever works out for me.

Over time, experiences may have continued to water and reinforce that belief.

Eventually, that little seed isn't little anymore. It has developed into a large, established tree with a firm root system.

Now you decide you want to believe something different.

You begin repeating a new affirmation: I am worthy. I am capable. Good things can happen for me.

But the new belief you're trying to seed is just that—a seed.

It's small. It's new. It hasn't had years of reinforcement behind it.

Meanwhile, it may be competing with an established belief system that has had years—or even decades—to develop a strong root system.

Could you continue watering the new seed? Of course.

But I also think it's worth asking:

What is already growing there?

Rather than simply trying to overpower an old belief by repeating something new, it may be helpful to identify and address the beliefs that are no longer serving you.

Remove some of the old programming and give the new belief a better opportunity to take root and grow.

Where Do Subconscious Beliefs Come From?

Not every belief begins with some dramatic event.

Sometimes it's something seemingly insignificant that happened when we were young. Sometimes it's something we heard repeatedly. Sometimes it's an interpretation we made based on an experience.

A child who repeatedly hears criticism might develop a belief that they're not good enough.

Someone who experiences repeated rejection may begin to expect rejection.

Someone who grows up around constant financial stress may develop beliefs about money, security or what is possible for them.

Over time, beliefs can become so familiar that we don't necessarily recognize them as beliefs anymore. They can simply feel like the way things are.

And that's one reason consciously choosing a different thought isn't always the whole story.

What Does the Belief Code® Have to Do With This?

This is where my work with the Belief Code® comes in.

The Belief Code is an energy-healing method designed to help identify and release subconscious belief systems that may be contributing to unwanted patterns or creating conflict with what someone consciously wants.

Within the Belief Code system, belief systems are actually represented using a tree structure. A belief system can contain different components, much like a tree has roots, a trunk, branches and leaves.

I find that model particularly useful because beliefs don't always exist as isolated statements.

There may be layers and related beliefs connected to a larger pattern.

Rather than simply deciding what someone should believe and replacing an old statement with a prettier one, the work is about asking the subconscious what is there and identifying what is ready to be addressed.

That distinction matters to me.

I'm not interested in telling your subconscious what it's supposed to say.

I want to find out what it's already saying.

So Should You Stop Using Affirmations?

No.

I certainly haven't.

Affirmations can help us deliberately focus on what we want to cultivate. They can remind us of the direction we're choosing and the thoughts we want to reinforce.

But if you've been diligently repeating an affirmation and find yourself feeling resistance—or if part of you immediately argues with the statement—that doesn't necessarily mean you've failed at affirmations.

The resistance itself may be useful information.

Instead of simply repeating the affirmation louder or deciding you're doing it wrong, you might become curious about the conflict.

What would I have to believe for this affirmation to feel untrue?

What belief seems to contradict what I'm trying to create?

How long might I have been carrying that belief?

You may discover that the issue isn't the shiny new thing you're trying to bring in.

There may simply be some old stuff that needs to be cleared out first.

Working With Subconscious Beliefs

I use Emotion Code®, Body Code® and Belief Code® in my work with clients to explore trapped emotions, potential energetic imbalances and subconscious belief patterns.

This work is complementary and isn't a replacement for medical or mental-health care. I also don't promise that one session—or any particular number of sessions—will produce a specific outcome. Everyone brings a different history, different patterns and a different set of beliefs to the work.

If you're curious about what might be sitting underneath the thoughts or patterns you've been trying to change, I offer private distance sessions by Zoom.

You can begin with a single session, or discounted multi-session packages are available for those who want to continue the work.

Sources & Further Reading

Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. Q. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive self-statements: Power for some, peril for others. Psychological Science, 20(7), 860–866. This is the study discussed above that found positive self-statements produced different effects depending on participants' existing self-esteem.
Read the study on PubMed

American Psychological Association. Self-Affirmation Theory. APA Dictionary of Psychology. Included for additional context on the psychological use of the term “self-affirmation.”
APA Dictionary of Psychology: Self-Affirmation Theory